Tag Archives: guest list

What doesn’t belong on this cover of People? Justin, Jessica & Britney?

24 Oct

Congratulations to Justin Timberlake & Jessica Biel – you guys might just be my favorite famous couple! 

This People Magazine cover really captures how happy and in love newlyweds Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel are. It is a very beautiful picture…
One thing – The cover. Did People REALLY have to put a picture of Britney Spears on the cover?? 

A: Give Justin + Jessica their moment
B: No one cares about Britney’s trial
C: If you absolutely had to put her pic in that spot couldn’t you have chosen the one oh her with a shaved head? That would sell some extra copies.

Much love + happiness to the new Mr. & Mrs. Timeberlake!

Read more about Justin & Jessica’s Italy wedding on People.com

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5 reasons why planning a wedding and dieting are the same.

19 Sep
Planning a wedding and going on a diet go hand in hand. Especially since most brides to be go on wedding diets. What you might not realize is that wedding planning and diets have more in common than you thought. First you are all in – balls to the wall excited. After a while everything tapers off. Here is the time line of feelings comparing wedding planning and dieting. 
 
1. It’s all happening! 
Wedding: Wedding planning begins! Yay! Ultra excited!
Dieting: Operation Get Ripped officially deploys! 
 
2. Must look the part. New outfit = Incentive
Wedding:  Buy wedding dress 
Dieting:  Buy new workout clothes
 
3. Power Though – It’s totally going to be worth it.
Wedding:  Time to do invite list – I can do this, I can do this
Dieting:  I am too tired to workout – Come on fatty, just do it – I’m gonna be skinny
 
4. At the plateau? Getting no where?
Wedding:  Seating chart  are you fucking kidding me? You will sit at the same table and you WILL like it! – We should have eloped
Dieting:  Fuck this – haven’t lost any(more?) weight. Hello ice cream
 
5. Just when you thought you couldn’t give a shit anymore – today is the day!
Wedding: It really was worth it – Today is wedding day and this is FUN!
Dieting: Goal weight! (well for today)

 

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I’d like 1 wedding please. That will be $27,000

18 Jun

According to the June 2012 issue of Money magazine and of course theknot.com, they stated that the average cost for a wedding in 2011 topped out at $27,000! That is about $4,500 an HOUR!!!! If anyone ever told me that I would be spending an average of $4,500 an hour on the day of my wedding I would tell them that they must be outside their fucking minds. Absolutely not. I haven’t done the math yet but based on my own wedding planning and tons of research, $27,000 although a shit ton of money is still a fair price.

I am cheap when it comes to the wedding but there is one thing that we think is worth the money. OPEN BAR.  There is it folks, that is our secret. Give the guest open bar and then they will all be to drunk to notice that you didn’t release white doves, you skipped the campaign toast and that the bride only had one dress and wasn’t wearing Christian Louboutin’s.

Oh, music. Don’t forget music. You need to have good music to have a fun wedding. However, the more drunk people are the more they will dance so it all goes back to OPEN BAR.

I hope my secret works and helps a few of you. Hopefully you can spend the money you saved on a baller honeymoon or for your future of wedded bliss.

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» Best Bridesmaids Photo Ever? Barstool Sports: Boston

1 Jun

No word of a lie, Barstoolsports.com is one of my favorite sites.  I am one classy broad.

It’s funny! So laugh!

» Best Bridesmaids Photo Ever? Barstool Sports: Boston.

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When cupcakes become land mines…

1 Jun

Just when you think the smoke has finally cleared from your wedding wars, you detonate another landmine.  Who thought a cupcake would be landmine. Cupcakes are not meant to start arguments. Cupcakes are sweet, decadent treats that make people smile. That holds true 99% of the time – when they are not wedding cupcakes.
It’s true, wedding planning is more stressful than an audit. For example, talking about cupcakes in the first month or two of the engagement is easy and breezy. She says, “Oh lets do cupcakes!” He says, “Sure, sounds great.” (Insert hugs, kisses & smiles here) Blah blah blah. Then just months before the wedding when you actually need to finalize things with the  baker your hugs, kisses & smiles turn into “You want THAT color?” “You want THAT frosting?” “I think it is going to look dumb that way.” “Well, screw the cupcakes let’s just tell all the guests that they don’t get dessert because you didn’t like the design. I’ll be drunk anyway.”  – Enough!

I nearly lost my shit when I realized we were arguing (half laughing because of the ridiculousness) over our once favorite, sweet, must smile while eating, delicious treat.

Here is an idea to help prevent your cake or cupcakes from looking like this:

You can try to go old school and make a collage (I am 100% aware of how cheesy this sounds) to give the other person a visual. This way you are both somewhat on the same page. You both can add to it and try to put together all the pieces of your perfect cake or cupcake tier. Plus, that will really help your baker understand your vision and provide you exactly what you are looking for.

Now your cake or cupcakes will look more like this: 
Happy planning…

-LB

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Title should be, “12 Resons why I will be single forever.” Real title, “Twelve tips for singles at weddings” – The Washington Post

31 May

I think this woman really has to be joking with some of this.  Let’s start with Tip 11: Play with the kids. She thinks it will make you look attractive to others I think it might be creepy to the parents (since you’re a stranger).  Then there is my personal fav, Tip 12: Get yourself adopted. – WTF is that? Her advise is to have another couple adopt you for the night. It sounds like she is advising a threesome. This whole thing is weird.

I say if you are single at a wedding, just be normal. That’s all.

Twelve tips for singles at weddings – The Washington Post.

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Title should be, “12 Resons why I will be single forever.” Real title, “Twelve tips for singles at weddings” – The Washington Post

31 May

I think this woman really has to be joking with some of this.  Let’s start with Tip 11: Play with the kids. She thinks it will make you look attractive to others I think it might be creepy to the parents (since you’re a stranger).  Then there is my personal fav, Tip 12: Get yourself adopted. – WTF is that? Her advise is to have another couple adopt you for the night. It sounds like she is advising a threesome. This whole thing is weird.

I say if you are single at a wedding, just be normal. That’s all.

Twelve tips for singles at weddings – The Washington Post.

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Ever wonder why the Bride & Groom are so happy on the wedding day? All the planning is OVER!

21 May

I really think that wedding planning is a test. A test to see if you and your fiancé can really hack it together ’til death do you part. Thank God I have a few close friends getting married around the same time as me because I though I was just a stone cold bitch. 

For example, recently one of my BFFs was venting and she said, “Ok so is it me or is almost every aspect of wedding planning an argument?? Maybe it’s just me.”

To answer your question my dear BFF, it is NOT just you, you are not the only blushing bride out there that wants to punch yourself (or others) in the face.  It’s almost like everything wedding planning related is a weird illusion to trick into hating the person you are marring. Suddenly you and your once perfect partner are arguing about the most ridiculous things like lined envelopes. Who gives a shit about lined envelopes in normal life? The envelope is the first thing to hit the trash. (Clearly, this is a hot button issue with me.) 

The weirdest thing is that it IS a test. If you and your fiancé can get through planning a wedding you can get through anything. All the blood, sweat & tears (and money) that you BOTH pour into this one day (6 hour) event will be well worth it. It’s almost like all the hours you spend at the gym. You hate the gym, you hate the bike, you hate the weights, you hate the skinny bitches that are there for no reason and I secretly want to spike there Vitamin Water with sticks of butter, but you continue to work out anyway. You do this because you know deep down it will all work out in the end. Then suddenly one day, your skinny jeans fit perfectly! It’s the same as wedding planning. You spend so much time and effort answering everyone else’s questions, trying to make everyone happy, making sure this one & that one are included, freaking out that something is bound to go wrong but it will always work out. 

That is why the bride and the groom are so happy on their wedding day. They already knew they wanted to spend the rest of their lives together but the fact that the planning is over – Now that’s why I believe they smile so big and they cry tears of joy.

Toots for today!

-LB

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Step right up to my wedding circus…Tickets go on sale NOW!

16 May
What? You can’t sell tickets to your own wedding? How the hell do people pay for this shit?! Now don’t get me wrong, I am as excited for my wedding as much as the next girl but this guest list stuff is some huge load of bull shit. Right now my guest its is up to 235…that is 200 more people than I would like there. Every time I see a name added to that list I see $$$. Sorry Aunt Cookie but you just don’t rank high enough on my list for me to pay for your attendance. Unless, maybe I should start working the corner to pay for this fiasco. Hmmm, that might put an end to this whole wedding so that is not the ideal solution.
Okay, so you can’t sell tickets and you can’t hook what do you do? First you vent to your friends and stew in your anger (a few of my skills) until you can meltdown/cry/yell to your fiancé. Then you split your list, A list & B list and get response cards with 2 different RSVP dates. Send out the first batch to list A and as regrets (fingers crossed) come in you can send out the invites to list B. Sounds like it will work.
I did not follow my own advice as I am slightly more blunt and bitchy. My rule with my family was if I can’t pick these people out of a line up they are not invited. When my mother said, “Don’t forget to invite GiGi.” I replied with, “I have no idea who she is, how she is related to me or what her last name is so she doesn’t make the cut.”
I should have taken my own advice as it is more polite but that has never really been my style. I am a bit of a mouthy girl with no filter but I will have a fabulous wedding.

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Other than the wedding party, who do I have to buy gifts for?

16 May
Is there a wedding handbook or something? When I was a kid and I had a birthday party I didn’t get anyone else a gift – The party was for me. Apparently we don’t adhere to the same rules for a wedding? Other than the wedding party who gets gifts? Are hugs good enough gifts? I don’t want to leave anyone out.

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