Tag Archives: funny
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Jersey Shore 2: Offspring

22 Jan

Hey, MTV! I have an idea for you…

Jenni “JWoww” Farley announced that she will be having a baby GIRL! Congratulations to her – baby girls are just darling.
More importantly do you know what this news can mean? Yes, Snooki and JWoww are probably planning their kids wedding to each other but thats obvious. This means that in 21 years or so from now MTV could launch a sequel – Jersey Shore 2: Offspring! We have Jr. JWoww, Lorenzo and Pauly’s little lady (what ever her name is). So who’s with me? MTV, you with me?!

See more abut Jenni here: http://www.jennifarley.com/

Surely you jest, Miss Miley

22 Nov

I knew Miley reminded me of someone but I just couldn’t figure it out until now. POWDER! Miley, you look just like Powder! What the hell is wrong with you?

We get it, you are NOT Hanna Montana. You smoke pot, you love Molly, you drink and that’s totally cool but don’t go bleaching your eyebrows, that’s just foolish. Please dye them back. Oh, and while you’re at it, grow your hair back.

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Farrah Abraham…you make me feel so mature.

29 Oct

I hate to perpetuate talk about this chick but former Teen Mom, Farrah Abraham was on The Bethenny show yesterday. In the midst of recent happenings with Farrah, she shouldn’t be surprised that plucking her four year old daughters eyebrows, her sex toy business and porn were amongst the topics discussed. Really Farrah, what did you expect her to discuss?Arguing with your mom? Calling your dad by his first name? You’re brief stint as a culinary student? No way! You know why? No one cares about that stuff when sex toys & porn are involved. Not to mention the famous quote about your four year old daughter, “Doing her own thing.”
With that said, I completely understand why Bethenny conducted her interview the way she did. I am sure Bethenny had her own opinions of Farrah but she did an excellent job of keeping her feelings under wraps. Farrah on the other hand came off very defensive. Farrah, honey, you put yourself in the public eye, you need to get a thicker skin and just own what you do. Oh and by the way, it IS porn.

For more deets and to see Farrah’s interview click here.

Ryan Lochte – Go away

26 Apr

The E! station newest show “What Would Ryan Lochte Do?” might be the worst idea in TV ever. Yes, worst. 
I can’t even stomach the commercials let alone watch a full episode. 

I know you are not supposed to judge a book by its cover but I am.  The cover is STUPID. 

3 yr old – Potty training + Outside the house = $2,500 fine?

15 Nov

Let’s say you live in Oklahoma. Let’s say you are on your front lawn and with your 3 year old son who is not yet completely potty trained. Let’s say your 3 year old, un-potty trained kid has to pee and let’s say a police officer happens to drive by. What do you think would happen? If you guessed that the cop would fine the mother $2,500 for public urination you are right! What did you learn from this? Don’t live in Oklahoma.

Read the full article, “Okla. cop tickets tot, 3, for public urination” from the NY Daily News here!

Courtney Stodden: Erin Brockovich of today?

2 Nov

NO.

Welp, that is what Courtney proclaimed in the most recent episode of VH1’s “Couples Therapy” on Wednesday night.

Before I get into why her diluted mind thinks that, let’s review Erin Brockovich for a second. In short, Erin Brockovich was working as law clerk who was instrumental in facilitating the case against PG&E. She did all that while raising her children and without a formal law education. She is now an environmental activist and consultant.  With that being said, the only take away Courtney took from this incredible true life depiction was the cleavage Julia Roberts showed in her award winning role in the onscreen adaptation. Maybe her ears don’t work due to a blockage of loose saline from her chest? No, no, those are “rill.”

In the last few episodes of VH1’s “Couples Therapy” Courtney Stodden was reprimanded several times for her barely there clothing choices and when confronted by Dr. Jenn she profusely states that she has “saved many lives” because she is who she is and dresses in a way that expresses who she is…(a slut – sorry)…blah blah blah. Yes, that comment has shocked us all. I think this ding dong is attempting to say that her dressing with pasties, a fig leaf and five inch lucite heels is expressing who she is and is somehow trying to combat bullying while being pro individuality? Anyway, it took some convincing but Dr. Jenn was able to get Courtney to go shopping with her so she can dress in real people clothes. You know, clothes that aren’t purchased from foreplay.com. Courtney came back to the house in white jeans and a tight fitting top. She was not thrilled and she called it her uniform. (Why doesn’t this girl realize that since she is still wearing 5 inch lucite heels and has huge melons she is going to look sexy in a poncho). She looked more normal, not totally normal but like a Christian girl from the suburbs with daddy issues type normal.

Courtney wore her new outfit for one whole day and it seemed as thought she was making progress keeping her clothes on. Then the next day came. Courtney shows up to the house in a bikini top and something that can only be described as a doll clothing size tennis skirt, for a sluttly doll.  This forces Dr. Jenn to confront her yet again. She asks Courtney to change and come back to the house so therapy can continue. Courtney says something like she is not going to change for anyone. Dr. Jenn clarifies that she just needs to change her clothes and come back. Courtney continues to spew more crap out of her mouth like, she won’t change because she is a strong woman and everyone is a bully…yadda, yadda, yadda. Then she says it, “I guess you could call me the 21st century Erin Brockovich. That’s me.”

That is the greatest thing she has ever said next to her last gem, “I have saved many lives”

WTF?

Courtney, you cannot compare yourself to Erin Brockovich. Other than the fact that you both have a face you have nothing in common with her. Erin Brockovich actually DID SAVE LIVES.

What doesn’t belong on this cover of People? Justin, Jessica & Britney?

24 Oct

Congratulations to Justin Timberlake & Jessica Biel – you guys might just be my favorite famous couple! 

This People Magazine cover really captures how happy and in love newlyweds Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel are. It is a very beautiful picture…
One thing – The cover. Did People REALLY have to put a picture of Britney Spears on the cover?? 

A: Give Justin + Jessica their moment
B: No one cares about Britney’s trial
C: If you absolutely had to put her pic in that spot couldn’t you have chosen the one oh her with a shaved head? That would sell some extra copies.

Much love + happiness to the new Mr. & Mrs. Timeberlake!

Read more about Justin & Jessica’s Italy wedding on People.com

OMG! Staples is having a sale on BINDERS FULL OF WOMEN!

17 Oct

OMG! Staples is having a sale on BINDERS FULL OF WOMEN!

Get to your neighborhood office supply store ASAP so you can get your mitts on the best binders full of women!! Damn, I NEED a new Trapper Keeper!

How much of a dickhead is this guy? Mitt is not very smart, so he obviously did not realize the phrase “binders full of women” is absolutely ridiculous. I wonder how many different “binders” he has. Does he have volumes like the Encyclopedia Britanica? Does he have binders full of men?  Has he ever heard of a COMPUTER or an electrionic file? This man is not only throwing females back into the 1950’s but he is actually filling up binders with large amounts of paper?!  

How brain dead do you have to be to think that this is the person you want running your country?  This man in a complete cocktard.

Check out this delightful site: “Binders Full of Women

OMG! Staples is having a sale on BINDERS FULL OF WOMEN!

17 Oct

OMG! Staples is having a sale on BINDERS FULL OF WOMEN!

Get to your neighborhood office supply store ASAP so you can get your mitts on the best binders full of women!! Damn, I NEED a new Trapper Keeper!

How much of a dickhead is this guy? Mitt is not very smart, so he obviously did not realize the phrase “binders full of women” is absolutely ridiculous. I wonder how many different “binders” he has. Does he have volumes like the Encyclopedia Britanica? Does he have binders full of men?  Has he ever heard of a COMPUTER or an electrionic file? This man is not only throwing females back into the 1950’s but he is actually filling up binders with large amounts of paper?!  

How brain dead do you have to be to think that this is the person you want running your country?  This man in a complete cocktard.

Check out this delightful site: “Binders Full of Women

Is @BravoTV serious with this show #LOLwork

10 Oct

Is @BravoTV serious with this show #LOLwork?? Looks like a fake work. http://ow.ly/en8Yj