Tag Archives: single

5 reasons why planning a wedding and dieting are the same.

19 Sep
Planning a wedding and going on a diet go hand in hand. Especially since most brides to be go on wedding diets. What you might not realize is that wedding planning and diets have more in common than you thought. First you are all in – balls to the wall excited. After a while everything tapers off. Here is the time line of feelings comparing wedding planning and dieting. 
 
1. It’s all happening! 
Wedding: Wedding planning begins! Yay! Ultra excited!
Dieting: Operation Get Ripped officially deploys! 
 
2. Must look the part. New outfit = Incentive
Wedding:  Buy wedding dress 
Dieting:  Buy new workout clothes
 
3. Power Though – It’s totally going to be worth it.
Wedding:  Time to do invite list – I can do this, I can do this
Dieting:  I am too tired to workout – Come on fatty, just do it – I’m gonna be skinny
 
4. At the plateau? Getting no where?
Wedding:  Seating chart  are you fucking kidding me? You will sit at the same table and you WILL like it! – We should have eloped
Dieting:  Fuck this – haven’t lost any(more?) weight. Hello ice cream
 
5. Just when you thought you couldn’t give a shit anymore – today is the day!
Wedding: It really was worth it – Today is wedding day and this is FUN!
Dieting: Goal weight! (well for today)

 

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I’d like 1 wedding please. That will be $27,000

18 Jun

According to the June 2012 issue of Money magazine and of course theknot.com, they stated that the average cost for a wedding in 2011 topped out at $27,000! That is about $4,500 an HOUR!!!! If anyone ever told me that I would be spending an average of $4,500 an hour on the day of my wedding I would tell them that they must be outside their fucking minds. Absolutely not. I haven’t done the math yet but based on my own wedding planning and tons of research, $27,000 although a shit ton of money is still a fair price.

I am cheap when it comes to the wedding but there is one thing that we think is worth the money. OPEN BAR.  There is it folks, that is our secret. Give the guest open bar and then they will all be to drunk to notice that you didn’t release white doves, you skipped the campaign toast and that the bride only had one dress and wasn’t wearing Christian Louboutin’s.

Oh, music. Don’t forget music. You need to have good music to have a fun wedding. However, the more drunk people are the more they will dance so it all goes back to OPEN BAR.

I hope my secret works and helps a few of you. Hopefully you can spend the money you saved on a baller honeymoon or for your future of wedded bliss.

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Title should be, “12 Resons why I will be single forever.” Real title, “Twelve tips for singles at weddings” – The Washington Post

31 May

I think this woman really has to be joking with some of this.  Let’s start with Tip 11: Play with the kids. She thinks it will make you look attractive to others I think it might be creepy to the parents (since you’re a stranger).  Then there is my personal fav, Tip 12: Get yourself adopted. – WTF is that? Her advise is to have another couple adopt you for the night. It sounds like she is advising a threesome. This whole thing is weird.

I say if you are single at a wedding, just be normal. That’s all.

Twelve tips for singles at weddings – The Washington Post.

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Title should be, “12 Resons why I will be single forever.” Real title, “Twelve tips for singles at weddings” – The Washington Post

31 May

I think this woman really has to be joking with some of this.  Let’s start with Tip 11: Play with the kids. She thinks it will make you look attractive to others I think it might be creepy to the parents (since you’re a stranger).  Then there is my personal fav, Tip 12: Get yourself adopted. – WTF is that? Her advise is to have another couple adopt you for the night. It sounds like she is advising a threesome. This whole thing is weird.

I say if you are single at a wedding, just be normal. That’s all.

Twelve tips for singles at weddings – The Washington Post.

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