Tag Archives: events

I’d like 1 wedding please. That will be $27,000

18 Jun

According to the June 2012 issue of Money magazine and of course theknot.com, they stated that the average cost for a wedding in 2011 topped out at $27,000! That is about $4,500 an HOUR!!!! If anyone ever told me that I would be spending an average of $4,500 an hour on the day of my wedding I would tell them that they must be outside their fucking minds. Absolutely not. I haven’t done the math yet but based on my own wedding planning and tons of research, $27,000 although a shit ton of money is still a fair price.

I am cheap when it comes to the wedding but there is one thing that we think is worth the money. OPEN BAR.  There is it folks, that is our secret. Give the guest open bar and then they will all be to drunk to notice that you didn’t release white doves, you skipped the campaign toast and that the bride only had one dress and wasn’t wearing Christian Louboutin’s.

Oh, music. Don’t forget music. You need to have good music to have a fun wedding. However, the more drunk people are the more they will dance so it all goes back to OPEN BAR.

I hope my secret works and helps a few of you. Hopefully you can spend the money you saved on a baller honeymoon or for your future of wedded bliss.

» Best Bridesmaids Photo Ever? Barstool Sports: Boston

1 Jun

No word of a lie, Barstoolsports.com is one of my favorite sites.  I am one classy broad.

It’s funny! So laugh!

» Best Bridesmaids Photo Ever? Barstool Sports: Boston.

When cupcakes become land mines…

1 Jun

Just when you think the smoke has finally cleared from your wedding wars, you detonate another landmine.  Who thought a cupcake would be landmine. Cupcakes are not meant to start arguments. Cupcakes are sweet, decadent treats that make people smile. That holds true 99% of the time – when they are not wedding cupcakes.
It’s true, wedding planning is more stressful than an audit. For example, talking about cupcakes in the first month or two of the engagement is easy and breezy. She says, “Oh lets do cupcakes!” He says, “Sure, sounds great.” (Insert hugs, kisses & smiles here) Blah blah blah. Then just months before the wedding when you actually need to finalize things with the  baker your hugs, kisses & smiles turn into “You want THAT color?” “You want THAT frosting?” “I think it is going to look dumb that way.” “Well, screw the cupcakes let’s just tell all the guests that they don’t get dessert because you didn’t like the design. I’ll be drunk anyway.”  – Enough!

I nearly lost my shit when I realized we were arguing (half laughing because of the ridiculousness) over our once favorite, sweet, must smile while eating, delicious treat.

Here is an idea to help prevent your cake or cupcakes from looking like this:

You can try to go old school and make a collage (I am 100% aware of how cheesy this sounds) to give the other person a visual. This way you are both somewhat on the same page. You both can add to it and try to put together all the pieces of your perfect cake or cupcake tier. Plus, that will really help your baker understand your vision and provide you exactly what you are looking for.

Now your cake or cupcakes will look more like this: 
Happy planning…

-LB

Step right up to my wedding circus…Tickets go on sale NOW!

16 May
What? You can’t sell tickets to your own wedding? How the hell do people pay for this shit?! Now don’t get me wrong, I am as excited for my wedding as much as the next girl but this guest list stuff is some huge load of bull shit. Right now my guest its is up to 235…that is 200 more people than I would like there. Every time I see a name added to that list I see $$$. Sorry Aunt Cookie but you just don’t rank high enough on my list for me to pay for your attendance. Unless, maybe I should start working the corner to pay for this fiasco. Hmmm, that might put an end to this whole wedding so that is not the ideal solution.
Okay, so you can’t sell tickets and you can’t hook what do you do? First you vent to your friends and stew in your anger (a few of my skills) until you can meltdown/cry/yell to your fiancé. Then you split your list, A list & B list and get response cards with 2 different RSVP dates. Send out the first batch to list A and as regrets (fingers crossed) come in you can send out the invites to list B. Sounds like it will work.
I did not follow my own advice as I am slightly more blunt and bitchy. My rule with my family was if I can’t pick these people out of a line up they are not invited. When my mother said, “Don’t forget to invite GiGi.” I replied with, “I have no idea who she is, how she is related to me or what her last name is so she doesn’t make the cut.”
I should have taken my own advice as it is more polite but that has never really been my style. I am a bit of a mouthy girl with no filter but I will have a fabulous wedding.

Other than the wedding party, who do I have to buy gifts for?

16 May
Is there a wedding handbook or something? When I was a kid and I had a birthday party I didn’t get anyone else a gift – The party was for me. Apparently we don’t adhere to the same rules for a wedding? Other than the wedding party who gets gifts? Are hugs good enough gifts? I don’t want to leave anyone out.